Don’t make me Sing!
By Aimee Claire Timmins
After 20 years on the audition circuit all over the world and attending theatre classes in Australia, London, and New York. Aimee Claire Timmins has learnt a thing or two about what a good and a bad teacher looks like. Read her latest article ‘Don’t Make Me Sing’. For more visit https://www.aimeeclairetimmins.com.au/
Over the years I’ve lost my voice many times due to glandular fever, so not being able to sing as a singer is challenging on many levels. As singers it sux when we face physical challenges but what about emotional challenges?
The ‘professionals’ all went to this one private vocal teacher in town. “Martin is the best!’ ‘He’s the only one to see’. 18 years old and embarking on my first year auditioning professionally for theatre, musical theatre any kind of performing job really. He only took clients that were “recommended”, mine came from my acting coach. My voice naturally sits in an alto register. Think, Bette Midler in the movie Gypsy or Catherine Zeta jones in Chicago, a grand piano and throw in a cigarette for dramatic effect. I was 18, calm down, you’ve got time!
After the first couple of lessons Martin’s feedback was, ‘You have this squeaky upper register which I don’t understand’. I just smiled and nodded. After all we were still getting to know one another. This was why I was at the studio to learn and access new and different parts of my voice. So, he handed me a book of Italian arias, and I said a little prayer.
I began looking at drama & musical theatre schools/colleges around the country. In class one day Martin gave me It might as well be Spring from State Fair . (Full soprano/ingénue land). ‘That’s what they’ll want to see from you’ he said. I don’t even want to see that from me I thought, so why would anyone else and how did he know what they would want to see from me? They don’t even know me? Not quite understanding what his comments meant or this soprano song for an audition when I was an alto was strange. But I guess if I was looking at extending myself singing these songs was the way to do it? I trusted that he knew what he was doing more than me, what did I know, I was 18 years old and he was ‘the best’! I began to fill out the application forms; one of the questions read who are you currently learning from? His response, ‘Don’t write me. I don’t want my name written on or associated with your application’. I left perplexed and a little disheartened but brushed it off.
I bumped into other students of Martins’ some of whom were friends of mine. ‘Don’t you love him, he’s the best right’? I would smile and nod in response but not really sure why people kept saying this. “Martin said, you’re coming along really well’. They would relay back to me in a condescending tone and look of pity. Why was my progress the topic of discussion between my teacher and another student? Later that week at the studio, ‘Apparently you can dance’, was Martin’s greeting in a surprised tone. He had gone to that same friend & student and asked if I could dance. By this point I felt personally attacked. ‘Yeah’?! Offended and kind of shocked. Of course, I can dance I’ve been doing it since I was 5 years old and have the hideous looking bunions, calleous’ to prove it! Every note I sung for the rest of that lesson felt scrutinized.
Over the next few months, I started feeling anxious and tightness in my throat every time I knew I had a lesson booked. I reminded myself that he was the teacher and I had to trust him. Apparently ‘he was the best’, and he’s the only one that teachers the pros’. So if you went to someone else you weren’t a professional? Even my best friend was like ‘why do you go to him? He makes you feel awful’! Showbiz is a super tough business, so I guess this was the super tough part??? No, no sweet child. Maybe I had more ingénue in me than I thought, well aren’t we all supposed to at 18?
An Australian tour of THE BOY FROM OZ, was announced staring Hugh Jackman. Casting a large ensemble of strong dancers and singers. Friends who shared the same agent, were getting appointments, but alas nothing on my end. Arriving at my lesson I brought in song choices, just in case. For the first time in a year, I was singing songs I loved. ‘The choices are fine, emotionless, and monotone was Martin’s response. I then proceeded to express my hopes for getting an audition and the natural frustration that comes with the battle of ‘getting in the room’. He sighed and took a long pause before speaking. ‘Do you seriously think YOU would get an audition?’ ‘Come on Aimee be serious; you are nowhere near the calibre’. There’s no way you will get an audition and you shouldn’t’. ‘You have this thin squeaky voice, and I don’t know what to do with it. You should look at other career options, pursuing other interests. This industry is not for you’. After the monologue of degrading my talent and character finally finished, I was silent. My voice was gone, I couldn’t speak, nor did I want to sing another note. I paid for the session (seriously?), walked out of the studio, burst into tears and never went back.
In my opinion class should be a place to grow, play, create, work, discover and fall on your ass, all in a safe supportive space. All artists need this space regardless of if you are a ‘professional’ or not. So much of being an artist is brutal and out of our control but the creative space and people we choose to develop our gifts shouldn’t be. When you’re paying an individual $150/hr for a private class, and you’re coming out crying, anxious and wanting to quit. That teacher ain’t for you babe! In fact, that teacher should be for no one! You best be walking out of that room and never going back. Even if that teacher is named ‘the best’ vocal coach in town. No one should ever have the right to dictate you’re future or be the judge of your talent. Especially in the classroom of all places!! Out of the 2 people in that room, I was not the one who should be exploring alternative career options. And my Italian aria still sounding like cats dying. Naysayers do not get the right or privilege to share your creative playground and they absolutely have no business commenting. We all have a responsibility to protect our gifts. After that experience protecting mine was non-negotiable. Protect yours, always.
“If you always take it on the chin and wear it, you might as well be saying you think that it’s ok and that’s not right! – Tim Minchin
‘Don’t you love him, he’s the best right’? I would smile and nod in response but not really sure why people kept saying this.
After 20 years on the audition circuit all over the world and attending theatre classes in Australia, London, and New York. Aimee Claire Timmins has learnt a thing or two about what a good and a bad teacher looks like. Read her latest article ‘Don’t Make Me Sing’. For more visit https://www.aimeeclairetimmins.com.au/
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